MURDERWESHALL

Gosh, it's exactly 5.41am now but my brain refuses to shut down. Been stressing out lately over my financial status and it is very much depressing. I desperately need a one time job no not prostituting etc so if money isn't gna fall from the sky, I'm pretty much fucked. Also, need to stop stuffing myself with food and start exercising. Being with Bob is making me fat. Salmon for breakfast say whuttt!~

Whatever.

I still haven't quite figured out why people behave so idiotically and hypocritically. I mean come on, isn't it about time to stop being kids? You're already 18 for god's sake (no offence to those younger than aforementioned). I think I should just spend lesser time on this and advert my attention to other important things e.g studies (ha ha) or things that make me happy e.g bob & friends, clothes, pretty orange notes. Idk how some people can be so content with so little. I'm pretty certain they're hiding a secret about life which keeps them from idly saying/acting on their raw emotions. Hope I haven't missed the bigger picture.

Good night.

Hello, I love you but you probably already know that.

Hectic hectic days are shining upon me. Exams are just around the corner and I highly doubt I'll be able to sit for them. Who knows huh, probably lie my way through yet another semester. In the past week, I've seen friendships go down elms street and poof, disappeared like it never existed. The blame is already on you. You just need to stop fighting back and making everyone detest you. I don't want to be one of them either. Also, I desperately need things to go according as planned instead of having them thrown straight into my face, bam. Exams, Bob not enlisting in June (if he passes his nafa), Genting trip somewhere mid-June. Fingers crossed.

Yet another routined day tomorrow. Good night folks.

First off, happy birthday Joy! Happy? Love you to death. xx

Things have been a little rocky the past few days. The only highlight I had was Sunday night all the way through till the next morning. I feel so empty, so spaced out like there's nothing merely exciting for me to think/do. Speaking of my highlight, I don't know how to react to these things. I don't know how to react to being emotionally involved with another party. I think I'm out of touch. Or what Eve would say, I'm lau hong. The last time I let someone in, I got hurt and ended up hurting him so badly which leads me to a whole different story that I'm not going to talk about. For now, I'm just going to go with the flow. I'm afraid to let you in because I don't even know where this is going. Furthermore, I'm so fucking cynical about dating and r/s. So mother fucking gay as shit.

On an even lower note, I want to apologise to those that I've hurt or that I'm going to hurt. You know I don't mean to hurt you, things happened and I hope we can go back to where we were. To where I knew where the line was and actually kept a conscious note not to cross it. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. You are a good friend. You are my good friend and if I knew any of this would happen, I would never have.. I don't know. Actually, even if I could, I wouldn't go back and change anything because this is who I am and that is how I'm going to act around you. I love you nonetheless and I only want the best for you.

xx

Okay so here I am in the midst of a conference call multi-tasking and all that while in the living room fighting of this heat. Decided to attempt to blog more often because of those faggots on the line. I've got nothing much to say because I don't have many views in life anymore. & I have to add that so many people are getting into r/s or falling in love/lust. Boys are stupid. Boys are stupid. Boys are mother fucking stupid.

You are mother fucking stupid and fucking annoying. Told you once, I'll tell you again. Get the fuck out of my fucking life. You say you don't care so stop asking me things about my personal life be it true or not. Fuck you and your low disgusting degrading self.

Oh by the way, I've got straight bangs. Yes, shut the fuck up.

Bye bye.